The realisation is terrifying.

So today would have been my dad’s 55th birthday. 19 years ago he gave up the fight he had been battling with cancer.

Today, I realised that in 10 years time, I will be at the age where my dad lost his life, 36 years young. It terrifies me and it makes me so damn angry that he didn’t get the chances that a lot of people in this world don’t deserve.

He didn’t get to celebrate his 40th, or see his 2 little girls 10 & 8 years, grow up. He didn’t get to see their graduations, or their 18th’s, 21st and nor will he get to see their 30th’s. He missed out on the engagements, the weddings, and he will miss out on the grandkids he would’ve loved to of had.

I don’t usually get mopey on his birthday, and I wasn’t until I started writing this.

I guess it comes down to the age old saying..

Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 2.34.12 pm

Love always your squiggle. xx

two loves. together

So I’ve got a few obsessions. Luckily none of them are illegal..

They’re pretty simple things & they make me happy. Tinkering, or searching.

quotes + type.
graphic designer.
far too many fonts.

So when I’m bored, or I’m just taking some time out, I’ll go searching…

I search fonts; calligraphy, handwritten, serif, san serif. You name it.

I currently have over 1500 fonts on my computer, and that grows daily. It is fair to say I’m obsessed.

Yet then you throw in quotes, and it’s good bye Ash.

I want to fill my house with these inspirational posters with all these fancy fonts. I’m just lazy.

So instead – I’ll share a few with you.

**Ps these are not my images. These are different lucky bastards who have amazing photography skills & make me swoon. You can find these & more amazing shots like these at unsplash. You’re welcome.

quotes

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Is there anything worse than waiting and not knowing? Not even knowing how long you’ll be sitting here… Waiting. 

It’s driving me crazy and I’m being cryptic. 

Maybe all in good time I can announce what the waiting is for, but for now… I’ll just sit here & torture myself daily. 

Torn.

Another post! 3 days in a row.. you go Glen Coco! (mean girls was on the TV the other day – it seemed fitting)

So I’ve said before hereĀ about how I’ve had like 3 blogs. Well I seem to like this one, and have been toying with exporting/importing the few blog posts I have from my other blog over to this one.

I wasn’t sure if I want these to mash together, if they were too different, or if I just didn’t want them under this blog.

Anywho – I decided to import these over. For shits & giggles.

Also… to get my blogs under 2 šŸ˜‰

Dreaming the days away

I’ve always wondered but never actually asked anyone.. Do you ever just make up other lives for yourself? Not because you don’t like you’re current life? But because you know it’s just not ever likely going to happen?

I don’t generally have troubles sleeping, but there are days when I can lay there for hours just waiting for sleep to come. So I dream this alternate life. 

One where I don’t have to worry about money, where (once again) I live in America & I’m following my dreams of becoming an actress in Hollywood. 

They all start the same & I never see how the end. 

Just a typical dream I guess.. Where it will never be a reality 

Out of my comfort zone

So yesterday I did something completely out of my comfort zone. I can’t & won’t go into it but it’s something I thought about for likely too long & almost had to be convinced to do so. 

But I did it.. And now it’s a waiting game. 

It’s the worse thing! All I can say in fingers crossed. #cryptic 

It’s time..

You wake up one day & say to yourself… it’s time to grow up.

When I say ‘grow up’, I say that pretty loosely.. At the tender age of 26 (going on 50 I swear), I feel like I’m generally in a pretty good position. My hubby and I haveĀ had our house for 4 years (okay.. yes the bank owns it), we’ve been married for coming up 2 years, we have an adorable & highly spoilt dog and have been on 2 trips to America. In that regard – I feel grown up.Ā It’s the other parts of my life I don’t feel ‘grown up’ in.

In my last year of high school, I don’t think I imagined that I would be married, with a dog & a house. I figured I would be travelling the world ill mid 30’s. When I would wake up on morning and say to myself ‘I think it’s time to settle down’.

But life just doesn’t work like that.

I have dreams. Massive dreams of living overseas. I dream of it literally almost every night.

I see my life in Chicago. Enjoying the beautiful frosty weather in boots, and scarves & thick jackets. In a beautiful 3 level terrace house, that includes an attic or a basement den. I see a beautiful kitchen with marble bench tops & dark wood doors. I also have a window ledge seat.

Don’t ask me what this is this is with my dreamy window seat ledge/book nook.

Or I see myself in Dallas. Enjoying the hot weather & being around our wonderful Texan friends. I see myself growing old there. Slipping ya’ll into my vocabulary or explaining to people – I’m not Australia nor am I America.. I’m Texan’.

I just see myself somewhere other than Perth.

Don’t get me wrong… Perth is a pretty lovely place. I see what tourists love about it & I know it’s beauty. I just feel stuck here. It’s such a small city & although I know of many people who have happily lived here their whole life (my mum included) I don’t want to live & die in Perth. I want to see the world.

So it’s been in the back of my mind for the last say 3 years. Look at working visa’s in US/Canada. Pack up life. Live.

I’ve just never gotten there. I’m still here. In Perth.